Before I explain how we calculate your Control Score, I need to talk about why we had to invent our own system in the first place.
The medical definition of premature ejaculation is broken. And if you’ve ever felt dismissed by a doctor or confused about whether you “really” have PE, this is why.
The Current Medical Definition (And Why It Sucks)
The DSM-5 (the official diagnostic manual) defines premature ejaculation as:
Ejaculation occurring within approximately 1 minute of vaginal penetration, on most occasions, for at least 6 months, causing significant distress.
Sounds reasonable on the surface. But think about it for more than 30 seconds and it falls apart.
Problem 1: The 1-Minute Cutoff Is Arbitrary
Why 1 minute? Why not 2? Why not 45 seconds?
If you and your partner both want sex to last 10 minutes, and you’re consistently finishing in 2 minutes, you have a problem. But according to the medical definition, you don’t have PE. You’re “normal.”
Tell that to the guy whose relationship is suffering. Tell that to the guy who’s anxious every time he has sex because he knows it’ll be over too fast. Tell that to the guy’s partner who’s left unsatisfied every single time.
The 1-minute cutoff is based on population averages, not on what actually matters to real people in real relationships.
Problem 2: It Doesn’t Account for How Much It Bothers You
Here’s a thought experiment: if a guy lasts 30 seconds but he’s totally fine with it, his partner’s fine with it, and nobody’s distressed — does he have premature ejaculation?
I’d argue no. There’s nothing “premature” about it if everyone’s satisfied.
The flip side is also true. If you’re lasting 3 minutes but it’s destroying your confidence, affecting your relationship, and you dread sex because of it — that’s a real problem, regardless of whether you hit some arbitrary clinical threshold.
PE should be defined by impact, not just by a stopwatch.
Problem 3: It Ignores Control Entirely
This is the big one.
A guy lasting 2-3 minutes but feeling zero control — white-knuckling it the whole time, never knowing when it’s going to end, totally at the mercy of his body — is arguably worse off than a guy lasting 45 seconds who feels completely in control and chooses when to finish.
Control is the whole point. That’s literally what we named the app after.
The current definition treats PE like it’s purely about duration. But duration without control isn’t really solving anything. You want to feel like you’re driving the car, not like you’re a passenger hoping the brakes work.
Our Definition: A Better Way to Think About PE
Based on all of this, here’s how we define premature ejaculation at Control:
Premature ejaculation is when you consistently ejaculate sooner than you or your partner would like, with limited sense of control over when it happens, and it negatively impacts your confidence, satisfaction, or relationship.
Three components:
- Timing mismatch — sooner than you/your partner want (not an arbitrary cutoff)
- Lack of control — you don’t feel like you’re choosing when it happens
- Negative impact — it bothers you, affects your confidence, or hurts your relationship
If all three are true, you have PE worth addressing — regardless of whether you last 30 seconds or 3 minutes.
If you’re lasting 45 seconds but you feel in control and everyone’s happy? You’re fine. Enjoy your efficient sex life.
The Control Score: Measuring What Actually Matters
With that definition in mind, here’s how we calculate your Control Score.
It’s a number from 0-100 that captures how much PE is affecting you. Higher = better control, less impact.
The score is based on three inputs from your weekly check-ins:
1. Duration (How long are you lasting?)
We ask about your typical time. But unlike the medical definition, we don’t use a hard cutoff. Instead, duration feeds into the score on a curve, lasting longer is better, but it’s not the only factor.
2. Distress (How much does it bother you?)
We ask how much your PE is affecting your confidence, your enjoyment of sex, and your relationship. This is weighted heavily because — as I argued above — if it’s not bothering you, you don’t really have a problem worth solving.
3. Control (How in control do you feel?)
We ask whether you feel like you can influence when you finish, or whether it feels random/automatic. This captures the “driving vs passenger” distinction that the medical definition ignores.
How the Score Bands Work
The score updates weekly based on your check-ins. You can see it trend over time, which is one of the most motivating parts. Even when day-to-day feels inconsistent, watching your 4-week rolling average climb is proof that the training is working.
The Radar Chart: What’s Actually Causing YOUR PE
The Control Score tells you how much PE is affecting you.
But we also need to understand why — which underlying causes are contributing to your PE. That’s where the radar chart comes in.
This is the framework we use internally to build your plan. You won’t see a literal radar chart in the app, but this is what’s happening under the hood when we analyze your assessment and generate your personalized program.
In our post on the real causes of PE, we identified 6 main factors:
- Nervous System Hyperreactivity — you escalate fast because your nervous system is hair-trigger
- Muscular Dysfunction — tightness and weakness from sitting all day
- Pelvic Floor Dysfunction — tight or weak pelvic floor (different problems, different solutions)
- Arousal Awareness — you can’t feel where you are on the 1-10 scale until it’s too late
- Conditioned Patterns — your body learned to finish fast, now it’s autopilot
- [Proprietary] — one more we’re keeping in the vault for now
Your onboarding assessment feeds into this model, scoring you on each axis based on your answers about lifestyle, history, patterns, and symptoms.
Two Very Different Profiles
Let me show you how this framework works with two hypothetical users. These are composites based on patterns we see, to illustrate why personalization matters.
User A: “The Desk Worker”
Profile:
- Muscular Dysfunction: High (sits 10+ hours/day, tight hips, weak glutes)
- Pelvic Floor: High (chronically tight from sitting)
- Conditioned Patterns: High (years of rushed masturbation)
- Nervous System: Low (not particularly anxious)
- Arousal Awareness: Moderate
What this means: This guy’s PE is primarily physical. His body is locked up from his lifestyle, and he’s trained himself into bad patterns. Breathing exercises alone won’t help much, he needs stretching, strength work, reverse kegels, and reconditioning.
His plan emphasizes: Hip stretches, glute bridges, core work, reverse kegels, extended edging practice to break the conditioned pattern.
User B: “The Wired Guy”
Profile:
- Nervous System Hyperreactivity: High (lifelong PE, anxious, lasts longer when drunk/tired)
- Arousal Awareness: High (goes from 0 to done with no warning)
- Muscular Dysfunction: Moderate (Active lifestyle)
- Pelvic Floor: Low
- Conditioned Patterns: Low
What this means: This guy’s PE is primarily nervous system based. His body is constantly revved up, and he has no awareness of his arousal curve. Stretching and strength work won’t help much, he needs breathing exercises, vagus nerve training, arousal awareness practice and deliberate targeted edging to reduce sympathetic reactivity to arousal.
His plan emphasizes: Diaphragmatic breathing, box breathing , body scans, arousal visualization, mindfulness exercises, targeted edging.
Why This Matters
If User A followed User B’s plan (all breathing and mindfulness), he’d see minimal results, because that’s not his problem.
If User B followed User A’s plan (all stretching and physical work), same thing — wrong target.
This is why generic PE advice fails so often. “Just do kegels” or “just practice breathing” assumes everyone has the same issue. They don’t.
The radar chart lets us give you a plan that actually targets YOUR specific combination of causes. And as you progress, we adjust, if one area is improving but another is still lagging, we shift the plan to focus where it’s needed.
(We’re considering adding a way for users to see their own radar chart in a future update — let me know if that’s something you’d want.)
How Your Plan Gets Built
Here’s the actual logic:
- Assessment scores you on each axis — based on your answers about lifestyle, history, patterns, and symptoms
- We identify your primary causes — the 2-3 axes where you score highest (worst)
- Your 12-week plan is weighted toward those causes — more exercises targeting your weak spots, fewer for areas where you’re already fine
- Weekly check-ins track your Control Score — so you can see overall progress
- We monitor axis-specific improvements — and adjust your plan if one area is improving faster than others
The goal is efficiency. Why spend time on breathing exercises if your nervous system is fine? Why do hip stretches if you’re already mobile? We want every minute of training to target something that actually matters for you. This is why we often see results so fast. Remember, by week 6 our average user has more than 2x’d their time.
What “Good” Progress Looks Like
Based on our data so far, here’s what we typically see:
Weeks 1-2: Control Score may not change much. You’re building awareness and habits.
Weeks 3-4: Small improvements start showing. Score might climb 5-10 points.
Weeks 5-8: This is where it compounds. Users who stick with it often see real time improvements here. Big score increases here.
Weeks 9-12: Consolidation. Gains stabilize, new patterns become automatic.
The users who see the best results are the ones who:
- Complete their daily tasks consistently (streaks matter)
- Actually do the weekly check-ins (can’t improve what you don’t measure)
- Trust the process even when individual sessions feel inconsistent
Try It
If you want to see your own Control Score and get a plan built around your specific profile, download the app and go through the assessment. Takes about 10 minutes, and you’ll get:
- Your starting Control Score
- A personalized 12-week plan weighted toward your specific causes
- Daily tasks targeting the areas that matter most for you
The radar chart analysis happens behind the scenes, you just get a program that’s actually built for your situation, not generic advice that may or may not apply.
Download Control on the App Store
Coming Up
- Case studies — real user journeys with before/after Control Scores and radar charts
Subscribe so you don’t miss them.
Questions about how the scoring works? Email me at adam@controltheapp.com